"Lies"

~ you screamed your pain in tones
too fucking high pitched
for my sensitive ears,
yet i knew what you wanted
and you knew what i needed
but it didn't fucking matter, did it?
we were already too far gone.
the skill in which you deceived leaves
me disenchanted, your lack of will,
unwillingness to yield complements
my new found sense of impermanence.
i echo of things you said
to make me yours,
that never held any weight in reality.
the truth was you were
too scared to hold on,
and i was scared to let go,
but didn't you know?
fear confuses, fear lies...
though not as well as you do ~

"pencil colored rose"

~ dust fills my chest like heavy smoke
your gaze lay long in my mind
locking my senses
gnawing at my defenses
though i try so hard to stabilize
this pencil colored rose
with its gloomy implication
materializes the pain i suppress
this insanity which tries me
the candor that never suited you
or was it I who couldn’t handle it
must I accept this wound
sink my head low to my esteem
sleep pining for a vacant dream
does this hope brand me a fool
a desperate lover devoid of reason
will solace be the only solution
or can this lead to a final resolution
when love and pain come full circle
if epiphany hits us like violence
can it end confusion and bitterness
can sorrow be surrendered to a kiss
cold be thawed by a familiar embrace
and passion forgotten be reclaimed ~